120+ Funny Valentine’s Day Messages, Wishes & Sayings

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to express your love, but that doesn’t mean everything has to be serious and sentimental. Sometimes, humor is the best way to show someone you care. 

Funny Valentine’s Day messages, wishes, and sayings can make your loved one laugh and remind them how special they are in a light-hearted way. Whether you’re a fan of cheesy jokes or playful teasing, there’s always a perfect funny message to share. 

In this blog, we’ve put together a few of our favorite funny Valentine’s Day messages that will surely add a smile to your celebration!

  • Happy Valentine’s Day! If love is a crime, I guess we’re both criminals. Let’s rob hearts together!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m terrible at poetry, but I still love you!
  • You’re my favorite reason to lose all self-control. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s skip the fancy dinner and eat pizza in bed!
  • Be mine or I’ll continue sending you cheesy Valentine’s texts until you say yes!
  • You’re the peanut butter to my jelly. Without you, life would be unspreadable!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! Don’t forget to keep the chocolate and flowers coming.
  • Love is in the air. Wait, it’s just pizza delivery. Never mind, enjoy your day!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m glad we’re stuck with each other, even on our weirdest days.
  • Let’s make Valentine’s Day sweeter than chocolate and less complicated than a relationship status.
  • Roses are red, tacos are great. I’m lucky to have found someone as awesome as you to date.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! I promise to never steal the covers… unless we’re having a pillow fight.
  • Love is a sweet deal. So is having you as my Valentine!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who still manages to surprise me, even after all this time.
  • You’ve got a pizza my heart. Just don’t ask for a slice, I’m a little selfish today!
  • I love you more than Netflix, and that’s saying a lot. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Valentine’s Day is just a reminder to love you as much as I love my bed. Happy V-Day!
  • Let’s make this Valentine’s Day even more memorable by pretending we’re not running late.
  • You’re the reason I wake up smiling… and the reason I need coffee right after. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You’re the only person I want to share my snacks with. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Funny Valentine’s Day Messages
  • I’m so glad we found each other. Now we can both ignore each other while scrolling on our phones. Happy V-Day!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not great at poetry, but I still love you.
  • I love you more than pizza. Just kidding, pizza is still number one. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You’re my favorite notification. I always check my phone for you. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You stole my heart, but I’ll let it slide because you’re cute. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Funny Valentine’s Day Wishes

  • Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s make this day about love, food, and more love. In that order!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who still tolerates me, even on my worst days.
  • Wishing you a Valentine’s Day that’s as sweet as chocolate but doesn’t cause a sugar rush!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! May we continue to be adorable, even while binge-watching shows together.
  • To my Valentine: You’re the only reason I’ve survived this whole “love” thing.
  • Hope your Valentine’s Day is full of as much sweetness as your favorite candy!
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! We go together like coffee and donuts, perfectly matched.
  • To my favorite person, may your day be filled with love, laughter, and no awkward selfies.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re the reason I smile, laugh, and sometimes roll my eyes.
  • Sending you a Valentine’s Day wish full of love, and a little bit of sarcasm.
Funny Valentine’s Day Messages
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who still makes me laugh and roll my eyes, sometimes at the same time!
  • Here’s to a Valentine’s Day filled with as much joy as finding the last slice of pizza.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s keep the romance alive and the Netflix binge going!
  • Wishing you a Valentine’s Day full of hugs, laughter, and zero awkward moments.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s make today all about the love, and none about the awkward hugs.

Funny Valentine’s Day Sayings

  • Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
  • I love you more than pizza. And that’s saying a lot.
  • I’m not saying I’m in love with you, but I’d definitely share my fries with you.
  • You’re the reason I look at my phone so much. Well, that and memes.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one person I can tolerate without coffee.
  • Love is in the air, but so is COVID, so let’s just stay home and be safe.
  • You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it. For now.
  • I love you more than Wi-Fi, and that’s the highest form of love.
  • Forget the roses, just bring chocolate and keep it simple.
  • You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, but I still want my own sandwich.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m just here for the chocolate.
  • I love you more than naps, and that’s a serious commitment.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, if you’re texting me now, I’m probably busy too.
  • You had me at ‘Let’s order takeout instead of cooking.’
  • You’re my favorite notification. Please don’t ever go silent.

Short Funny Valentine’s Day Messages

  • I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot 🍕
  • You’re the reason I smile… and the reason I roll my eyes too 😜
  • I love you even when you steal the covers at night 😴
  • You make my heart skip a beat, but I hope it’s not a medical issue 😅
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m bad at poetry, but I love you 💕
  • I’m yours… unless the Wi-Fi is down 😆
  • Let’s grow old together and annoy each other forever 😁
  • You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, but I’m not sharing the last bite 🥪
  • I’d say I love you, but I’m too busy staring at you 😍
  • You had me at “pizza”… just kidding, it was definitely you 🧀
  • You’re the only one I want to spend my 90s with 🧓
  • I love you more than Netflix, and that’s a big deal 🎬
  • You’re the reason I’m happy… and slightly crazy 🤪
  • I love you more than tacos, and I really love tacos 🌮
  • You complete me… like fries complete a burger 🍔
  • You’re the reason I smile, but also the reason I sometimes facepalm 😅
  • I love you even when you steal my fries 🍟
  • You’re the frosting to my cupcake, but I’d still eat you first 🧁
  • I love you like a fat kid loves cake 🍰
  • You’re my favorite notification 💌
  • You’re the reason my heart races… but it’s mostly because of caffeine ☕
  • I’m yours until the Wi-Fi stops working 💻
  • You had me at “Do you want to eat?” 🍕
  • I love you more than memes, and that’s saying something 😂
  • You’re the only one who can handle my weirdness 🌀
  • I love you more than the snooze button ⏰
  • You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me… next to chocolate 🍫
  • You’re my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye 👋
  • I love you more than my bed, but I’ll never admit it 😴
  • You’re the one I want to annoy for the rest of my life 😜

Funny Valentine’s Day Messages For Her

  • I’m so glad you’re my Valentine. Now I have someone to blame when the chocolate is gone.
  • You’re the reason I don’t need a GPS; I’m lost in your love. But seriously, where are we going for dinner?
  • You had me at hello… and by “hello,” I mean your love for pizza. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Roses are red, chocolates are sweet, but I’d rather just eat them all and skip the poetry.
  • I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together… unless we’re shopping, then all bets are off.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who makes my heart race… mostly because you never know where I’m going.
  • You make my heart skip a beat… and my stomach turn when you take my fries. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Let’s pretend you didn’t eat the last cookie. I promise I won’t say anything. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You’re the best part of my day, especially when you bring me snacks. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Being with you is like a great Valentine’s Day card – cheesy but lovable.
  • You’re my favorite reason to smile… especially when I see you stealing my blanket. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You’re my Valentine because I’m not sure anyone else would put up with me. Lucky you!
  • I’d share my heart with you, but I think I’ll keep it (and the chocolate) to myself. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • I didn’t think I was a romantic, but then I met you… and now I want to share my fries.
  • I could write you a poem, but I’m more of a “let’s order takeout and binge-watch TV” kind of person.

Funny Valentine’s Day Messages For Him

  • You’re the reason I can’t walk past a store without buying snacks. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • I love you more than pizza, but don’t make me prove it. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • You make me laugh like no one else can, mostly because you’re the one tripping over your own shoes.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the man who can’t find his keys but can always find my heart.
  • You’re my favorite reason to be lazy today. Let’s skip the gym and call it love.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the one who makes my heart race… especially when you steal my fries.
  • If I had a dollar for every time I laughed at something you said, I’d have enough for more snacks.
  • I love you so much, but I won’t share my chocolate. Fair warning. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • I love you to the moon and back… but you still owe me for that last pizza.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the man who knows how to make me smile… or at least laugh at your bad jokes.
  • I got you the best gift – my love and affection. Just kidding, it’s socks.
  • You’re the reason I feel warm and fuzzy inside… especially after I stole the last slice of pizza.
  • You’re my favorite person to binge-watch shows with, especially when you bring me snacks.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to the guy who makes my heart race, mostly when I’m trying to beat you to the TV remote.
  • You complete me… like fries complete a burger. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes

  • “Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
  • “The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does a woman want?’ — Freud
  • “Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.” — Phyllis Schlafly
  • “The thing about Valentine’s day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.” — Faye Morgan
  • “Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.” — James Thurber
  • “I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” — Jenny Han
  • “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
  • “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
  • “Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schulz
  • “You’re never alone on Valentine’s Day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” — Mike Primavera
  • “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” — Mindy Kaling
  • “Love is a grave mental illness.” — Plato
  • “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell
  • “Love is being stupid together.” — Paul Valery
  • “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
  • “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” — Henny Youngman
  • “If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
  • “It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” — Lucille Ball
  • “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein
  • “Love is the case, the doctor is an ass.” — English Proverb
  • “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — The Office
  • “I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” — Tracy Smith
  • “Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” – Melanie White
  • “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” — Oscar Wilde
  • “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” — David Sedaris
  • “Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” — Bree Luckey
  • “Sunset over clouds with Valentine’s Quotes for girlfriend by Schulz”
  • “Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.” — Charles M. Schulz
  • “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” — Jerry Seinfeld
  • “Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” — W. Somerset Maugham

Conclusion

Funny Valentine’s Day messages are a great way to make your loved one smile. They add humor and warmth to the celebration, making it memorable and fun for both of you!

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